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Most frequent questions and answers

If you want us to set your site up for you it should be done within two business hours – a support ticket is created as soon as you create your account – just reply to that ticket or the e-mail it generated and we will get started.

If you want us to set it up and cannot wait until the next business day, buy the Hold My Hand addon and we will take care of you immediately, after hours.  Your confirmation e-mail will have the phone number of the after-hours technician.

If you are comfortable with technology then you can have your site running in minutes.  You will receive a welcome e-mail with directions on how to log in to your web control panel.  Log in and use Softalicious to install WordPress (or your software of choice), or upload via FTP and you are generally live in minutes.

Because our goal is for you go go viral.  Your site may get 10,000 visits on a normal day, but we expect that someday – maybe tomorrow – you’ll get 10 million views.  You can’t do that if we limit bandwidth, so we make sure our servers are under-utilized instead.  We have plenty of bandwidth and horsepower to spare.

There are some limits but they are not published and you will probably never notice them.  Each user is segregated, and resource usage is tracked on a per-user basis.  We put limits on resources so no user can write horrible code or otherwise misbehave in a way that impacts others.  With that said, we have a lot of excess capacity for when you really do get popular overnight.

Even if you get really popular, really quickly you probably won’t run into our limits.

We built this site to host dynamic content (blogs, news sites, forums, and the like.)  We have no limits on bandwidth because we want our users to have the best performance possible when their site suddenly “makes it.”

We do not offer unlimited bandwidth so you can try and create a Youtube competitor on the cheap.  Please be reasonable in your choice of content.  Photos are fine if you scale them appropriately, and videos are fine if infrequently viewed.  This platform is optimized to run PHP-based sites really, really quickly and efficiently.  So if you’re hosting on WordPress, Joomla, WooCommerce, Drupal, or any of the various PHP-based forum software then you will be really happy here.

Storage is a complex topic. We have a layered system that will migrate your content from disk arrays (for archival data), to SSDs for more frequently accessed data like databases, to memory for data in constant use, to memory cache on the web server itself. Each step up speeds access by 100x to 10,000x, and the data that benefits the most from caching is what’s cached.

Because if you say something truly controversial – like that Men aren’t Women – we may need to deal with thousands of angry people trying to intimidate us into shutting you down.  Death threats, phony DMCA complaints, legal threats, attacks on our reputation, actual lawsuits, and so on.  This causes us headaches.  We charge clients for those headaches.  Your cost will not rise above this level unless we need to coordinate a legal defense.

Guidelines are posted on another page, linked here.

Basically: we support speech.  We support dissent.  If you want to expose or mock those in power, or cultural norms, or work to bring about a better future (however you define that) then that’s ok. 

Memes mocking the powerful that might not pass FCC guidelines are fine, but building a site centered on lascivious content is not.  Arguing for major reforms of drug, gun, or other laws is fine; coordinating to skirt those laws is not.